Scripts

Prewritten Serenity for You
Kids Tour the Rules

Bonus—handy scripts to announce your new approach, because having the words is key... 

Here are flashcard summaries for you to read out loud, especially if following rules is new in your family.  Talk about why rules bring peace.
 

Stand by Your Mandate Reviewing Who’s In Charge ·     Just a question, who leads a family?        A.  Kids B.  Parents The correct answer is B.  Only parents are in charge.  ·     Even when you think we are not fair, we decide on the rules.  Deal with it.  ·     We are serious when we say No, but you can keep hoping we’ll change our mind.  We won’t.  But you can keep asking.  ·     If you don’t get your way, maybe you’re not screaming loud enough!  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Limit House Rules to a Drop-Dead Few Following Serious Rules Seriously We will drop rules when they don’t help the family.  Yay!  The rules we keep are very important: ·     Preschoolers never cross the street alone.  ·     Rudeness is never okay.  Not for kids, not for parents.  ·     We all apologize for our mistakes.  Kids and parents.  ·     Parents always have to set an example.  A good example.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….…………...

Take it on Yourself Taking Responsibility for Ourselves ·     Fix your mistakes.  Don’t repeat them.  Make other mistakes.  ·     You don’t always have to fit in, but don’t wait for the world to change for you, either.  ·     Rely on your own heart and head to guide you through life.  I am teaching you what to do, not what to think.  Buddha, a wise man, said “Believe nothing, no matter who wrote it or said it, even if I said it, unless it agrees with your own reasoning.” ·     If parents say that something you do makes us uncomfortable, listen very carefully.  Either a new rule is coming or Time Out.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….…………...

Set the Tone You Want with Humor and Joy Having Fun Together ·     Being a family should be fun.  But if you’re funny, your words still have to show respect. ·     No teasing is allowed unless everybody agrees it’s good fun.  If I tease you and you think it isn’t fun, it isn’t fun.    In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Make the Kids Think Hard Looking Before you Leap ·     You always have to think if it is good to do before you do it.  ·     If you are careful, you will choose well.  ·     If you choose well, you will get more choices as you get older.   In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Stay One Step Ahead Seeing What’s Next ·     You will get warnings about what will happen when you break a house rule.  ·     You won’t have to guess about it, but it will happen even if the dog ate your homework.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Offer Some Grace, Let Them Save Face Asking for Time ·     Sometimes if you need one more minute, but not 100 minutes, ask nicely.  ·     You might get a Yes, but get ready for a No, and deal with it.  ·     Good news!  We hear your words and watch your face.  We take care of you and love you a whole lot.  You don’t have to be perfect. In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Don’t Drive it Underground—Ask Telling the Truth ·     I will ask you for the truth, and that is what you have to tell me.  ·     When you tell me the truth, I will try not to judge.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Drop Your Empty Promises Keeping Commitments ·     I will never make a promise that I know I cannot keep.  ·     If something changes, I will warn you ahead of time.  ·     If I make a mistake, I will say sorry.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Teach Kids When to Lie Telling White Lies Sometimes you have to lie not to hurt someone’s feelings.  That little lie is a called a white lie, but the rules are strict:  ·     A white lie has to be small, rare and harmless.  ·     A white lie is used only for one reason, to keep peace with friends and family.  It better do just that.  ·     A white lie that has a trick breaks the rules.  It is not allowed next time. ·     A white lie that ends up hurting breaks the rules.  It is not allowed next time. In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Emphasize the Positive Over a Putdown Being Kind ·     Whenever you can be nice instead of rough, do it.  Everybody wins.  ·     Even when others are rough, you can still be nice.  It isn’t weak, it’s powerful—the power to decide how you want to live in this world. In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Let Them Eat Cake Eating Dessert ·     The rule for trying new foods is you don’t have to try new foods. ·     You don’t have to finish your plate—but please don’t waste. ·     You can eat dessert even if you don’t finish your food—but don’t say dessert if kids are still eating their food.  ·     With table manners, food deserves respect.  If you don’t like a dish, don’t eat it and keep quiet.  No saying yuck.  No saying it’s not good.  No throwing food.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Maintain Sanity with a Preemptive Strike Surprising the Kids ·     Sometimes, something allowed is not allowed anymore.  ·     We’ll let you know.  Sorry.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Invent New Rules as You Go Along Taking on Changes as Needed ·     Parents want to hear hello when they come home.  Nothing fancy.  “Hi, I’m in here on the computer,” is fine.  Even better, “Hey wanna help?  I’m washing dishes.”  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Institute Your Own System Tailoring House Rules to Your Home, Not the World ·     Every family is different, so our house rules might be different, too.  ·     Just follow our rules here, their rules there, and you’ve got it made.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Use Dispassion Throughout Time Out Staying Out of Time Out is Simple ·     Time Out is not angry, but it is always two minutes.  ·     No arguing if you get Time Out.  ·     If you make noise or come out, Time Out starts again.  ·     When Time Out is over, you are free.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Stick with Your Routine Stay on Schedule ·     Things we do at a special time is called our routine.  ·     For the bedtime routine, nobody will be asking you to sleep.  Just to keep your eyes closed, and give sleep a chance to find you.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Harness the Power of Words Saying Things Just the Right Way ·     Rude language gets Time Out. ·     If you ask why we have a rule, we want to know:  “Are you asking so you can challenge the rule or so you can understand the rule?”  If you ask to challenge the rule, you don’t get an answer, sorry.  If you ask to understand, we will tell you if that ends the conversation.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Do Not Do the Teacher’s Homework Doing your own Homework ·     Kids do small jobs their teacher gives them to take home.  ·     Parents can help just a little bit.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Let Them Figure Stuff Out Thinking for yourself ·      We will be letting you figure more things for yourself over time.  ·      When you are ready to take on more, let us know, and we will talk.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Set Rules for Your Own Best Behavior Showing the Model for How to Act ·     We all make mistakes.  Kids do.  Parents do.  Mistakes are allowed.  ·     Admitting mistakes is allowed, too.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Be Polite, to Model Being Considerate Acting Nicely and Talking Nicely ·     We don’t have to be fancy, but we always have to be polite to each other.  When people are angry, that is extra hard.  ·     Being angry doesn’t change the rule of politeness.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Teach Etiquette for Daily Use Following Manners ·     Other homes have other rules.  When you’re there, follow them.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Apply the Law of Natural Consequences Accepting What Is ·     Parents don’t have magic the way movies do.  ·     When things break, we cannot always fix them.  So let’s be careful not to break them.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Address Death as it Comes Up Saying goodbye ·     When people we love die, they can’t come back and see us again.  Still, we can always say what we feel and pretend what they would say back to us.  Because we know them. ·     Our feelings don’t change much when they pass away.  ·     We’re all sad.  /  We’re all happy she is free.  /  We pray for her.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Be There to Protect Them Staying Safe ·      We will take action if anyone does anything that makes you uncomfortable.  ·      If you can’t tell us, talk to another grownup.  In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………….

Deal with Bigger Subjects, Bigger Kids Changing with the Times and the Challenges ·     No spanking and no yelling, either.  ·     If you don’t want a kiss, even from family, No thank you is good enough.  ·     I know you don’t want to vacuum, and I don’t want to drive to the mall.  But please vacuum and I will drive. In your own words….……….………….………….………….………….………